Remember those cute little plump figurines that were popular to collect? You remember Precious Moments. I had a bride and groom one, a bridesmaid one, and a first baby figurine. If you are unfamiliar with this fad or under the age of 25 then go google it and come back.
Well, this precious moment was experienced two nights ago when Zoe got her book out for me to read a chapter before bed. A regular occurrence that sometimes after a busy day a mom wants to rush or omit. Until you remember they aren’t going to be nine forever. The book of the week is Clementine. A classic, funny, read aloud and as I began reading where we left off the night before, Blaire popped into the room. She curled up on Zoe’s bed and they both snuggled in for a bedtime story. Sometimes our kids pull out the old Green Eggs and Ham or a Fairy Tale to be read and it feels like the 100th time. I was always a fan of when they graduated to chapter books. Something entertaining for both of us, you could say. This was a classic I remember from when Blaire and Jacob were little. I do love to read out loud to kids. One by one they are growing up and getting married and I feel like it’s deja vu. This is not a complaint one bit. Today I’m full of nostalgia. Full of reminiscing and enjoying it. I don’t hate that Blaire isn’t going to live here anymore. I will miss it but she’s ready to fly off the branch. Away from mamas nest. She is confident and secure and yet reliant on Jesus in a way that makes any mother proud. She isn’t leaving us and can still join in on a story-time or two. So yes, I choked back a few tears this night. I tried to read without cracking my voice. I want her to know I’m good with the new change.
It’s Zoe, that’s more difficult to understand. She doesn’t cry much or show much emotion and although she’s excited to be a bridesmaid in one day she still tacks on, ‘I hate that I’m missing field day though’. Yes, Friday, May 31 has been deemed Blaire and James’s wedding day for a year now but field day is important to my third grader too. Maybe when she’s older she will grasp the love she has experienced by her sister. Blaire, at the age of 8, wrote in a journal, ‘I wish I had a younger sister’. Her wish came true through a series of miracles and now Blaire gets to have her sister join her sister in law and the best friends a girl could ask for, to stand up and support her on her long awaited wedding day.
This mom is a big fan. I don’t think I needed to write this blog to convince myself. No, I will allow myself to feel all the feels. (advice from my sister in law.) I don’t want to be a blubbering mess but when someone texts me ‘I’m praying for you’ I get choked up. When we listen to a special chosen wedding song I get choked up. And when I picture my husband walking his baby girl down the aisle… well, I’m a bit of a mess right now. I’ve heard it said that you can’t prepare yourself for these kinds of moments. Someone also asked me if it’s different this time with Blaire as it was for Jacob. No, it’s the same. You love your kids so much and train them up to be strong and God fearing adults. You pray that they surround themselves with good people and then you let go. That’s where faith comes in. They have always been in God’s hands but under our roof. I think the biggest gift we can give our children is our blessing.
I was reading in an old journal I wrote on Blaire’s second birthday, nearly 19 years ago;
‘Today Blaire is 2! My little one is 2! I can’t believe it. She’s not a terrible two although she’s very independent and stubborn. She is starting to play with Jacob and she loves the attention. I thank God for her. I want us to be friends.’
This has been a precious journey. Can’t wait to read chapter 2.
Real words by Zoe: dated this morning… “I don’t have any tears unless you’re doing my hair”