running

Goals

It’s January. The month of new beginnings. The month of diets. The month of renewal. The month of resolutions. I know it can also be a month of sadness, depression and loneliness.

Today I feel old. Kind of in a good way. As I strive to live a good Christian life the older I get I realize I suck. Ha! How’s that for a topic for my first blog of 2019!  Still reading? Ok. I feel old because my body is breaking down. When I’m running and training for a race I feel invincible. Unless, of course, injury occurs and for me, that is happening more frequently. I talked a bit about my latest foot issue on social media. I found out I have suffered from Morton’s neuroma in my left foot for about a year.  It grew worse and soon caused me to limp and stay away from the gym since my Berlin marathon back in October. I found a clinic all the way in Boston who treats this issue without surgery and I went for it. Got a large needle stuck between my toes and froze the nerve to deaden it. Lovely stuff. After 8 weeks it did relieve the nerve pain but not 100%. I’m going again for a second round and feeling optimistic I will be completely healed but haven’t felt that way the whole recovery time. In fact, two Saturdays ago, I had a major meltdown where my husband found me in a heap on my bedroom closet floor surrounded by discarded clothes and cute shoes I no longer can wear. It was necessary. It was warranted. It was healing, to say the least. For 15 days I’ve rebooted my diet and feel great. All this is physical renewal.

The real reason I feel old today is that I woke myself up and felt an immediate nudge. No. I felt an urgency. No. I felt like I had a beautiful appointment I could not miss. When I wake up an hour before my nine year old routinely wakes up at 7:30, I get to sit and dwell and commune with my Heavenly Father. Not something my 30 year old self would feel like. My meetings and conversing with God isn’t new for me. The desire has deepened and to that I owe to maturity. I love that aging means I’m still learning. With age I still screw up but I’m less hard on myself. I get to learn more about who God is and that relationship is number one.

My word for 2018 was LOVE. I got to see myself view a lot of my interactions with that word at the forefront of my thoughts. 2019 brings a new word for me. FAITHFUL. I want to reflect on how God has been faithful in my life. I also want to be a faithful servant. I want to be faithful in reading God’s word and books about growing in my faith. I guess it takes some people a lifetime to figure God out. I say don’t stop until you find Him. 

My nine year just woke up. She walked straight to the drawer in the kitchen to get a pot out to make her own oatmeal. She also went straight to our new amazon echo show to ask Alexa to start her day with songs by Lauren Daigle. The song You Say came on. 

‘The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me

In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity, (ooh oh)

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing

You say I am strong when I think I am weak

You say I am held when I am falling short

When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours

And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)

What You say of me (I)

I believe

With that I can find joy in what my day brings me.  Dig deep and find time to be still.  Maybe you will hear a word, for renewal, strength, or just plain survival.

Seasons of Life

I may have titled a blog this before but I’m in a new season so the content is different. 

I’m in a season of discovery. 

One of my strengths from a personality test I took a while back is discipline. I like this one. I am disciplined in my fitness regime. I’m usually disciplined with chocolate (close friends are laughing right now). I’m disciplined in my faith and always reading a book that sheds new light on God and my life. I’ve discovered I can’t possibly be disciplined in all areas of my life at the same time. 

I’ve been through a running discipline (or fitness)  before but this one doesn’t just fade for me. No this one comes to a halt with a trainer who moves away or I get an injury. I take a hiatus and fall off the wagon hard. 

I get into a good nutrition season. I learn about how a new food has come into fashion (hello cauliflower) and that what my mother fed me is pure poison (goodbye white bread).  I find new recipes, replace all my sugars (yes I have Tupperware labeled erythritol) yet I’ve been known to slip back into my old ways and go old school cooking on my family with no warning,  from time to time.  (Aww ham and potato casserole) 

Faith – this has truly never wavered but my devotion level has gone through a season or two. If you have a baby? Oh young mother, you try. You probably are clinging to your faith and calling out short ‘rescue me’ prayers to get through the day. That’s right where God wants you. Then when you have a few years under your belt you figure you can’t screw this kid up too much so you let go a little. You realize you can take some time out for yourself so you can squeeze out some time to getting back to bible basics and seek a new word or idea for rejuvenation. Be it a thought from a flip calendar or getting through a 20 min podcast in 5 days. You go, girl. 

So this brings me to my new season. I’ve been injured for 5 months. The gym is out of the question. Walking is out too. I still get up early in the morning. It’s winter and new recipes aren’t appealing. I’m in a spiritual rejuvenation period. It’s awesome. When my kids were young I would try to read a book about the Christmas story the whole month of December. This is, of course, Christ’s season, for goodness sake. Yet, I can count the years I actually remembered to read or get close to God during the season dedicated to Him! I could shame myself but He doesn’t shame me. I’ve read too many great books lately to mention. It’s been my thing to give away my favorite book of the year to my extended family but this year will be a mixture of four. Learning, journal writing, sharing with friends. I love this season. Although my exercise regime is out the window and well, I began to bake again. You can text me your ‘healthy’ baking recipes but I won’t like them. I won’t share about weight. The positive people out there will say it’s all in how you feel in your clothes is what counts. Well, let’s just say this year I’m asking Santa for a new wardrobe. 

This definitely should not be a stressful season. So here are some tips from this ‘seasoned’ mom. 

  1. Use amazon! I love shopping but come dec 1st, crazies enter my stores and clog my parking lots and completely forget how to drive. Avoid! Shop online 
  2. Bake up a storm! It’s comfort and you will need comfort and joy this month. My comfort level was filled to the brim when I went to a friend’s house yesterday. We ate soup and BREAD, salad with yummy DRESSING and homemade cookies. What a delight! 
  3. Take time out for you! If that’s a 10 minute bath then fill that tub up, place kids in front of the TV on the other side of the door and close your eyes. If you’re so inclined, worship. It’s my favorite place to worship, just sayin’. 

I know when I feel healthy again I will be running in the morning. I will have to be creative and carve time out for God later in the day. That is a priority. Eating the best I know how is also a priority and with a vacation on the horizon I have a motivator to wear those new clothes Santa is bringing me. (and you thought I was asking for a size up.)  Also, accountability. This goes a long way. I have my daughter, my husband and some friends in my life who inspire me, push me and teach me. Ask me to be there for you if you need it.  

I hope this Christmas season doesn’t get away from you. The best thing I was reminded of this morning is that it’s not from my own strength. 

I will end with a quote from the book Because He Loves Me by Elyse Fitzpatrick. 

‘Leaving nothing to our abilities, Jesus himself initiates our faith, and he’ll oversee it to its perfect completion. We’re to rely totally on him, the “one on whom (our) faith depends from beginning to end.” ‘

Merry Christmas!

Photo: taken two blocks away from my house.  Christmas reminders all around me.

Mental Marathon

 

Here I go again. I don’t like repeating this training pattern but it seems to just find me. I begin each training season with vigor and enthusiasm and lately (like in the last five years) I get injured, life happens and I don’t complete my training schedule as well as I set out to do. 

That time has come yet again and believe me when I tell you that I have been downright discouraged. My next marathon will be my 7th and maybe my hardest. I mean I once trained for a half and ended up running a full but it was in my city with 1000 teammates running along side me and many more cheering from the sidelines. That can make anyone move. I ran two marathons in two months once and was injured for both. After the first I decided to take the two months completely off to ‘heal’ before running the second in Disney. This one again, was along side some great teammates and it wasn’t my slowest. I’m not writing this to brag or anything. It definitely is not the results I’ve wanted but who says what a marathon should look like anyway? I know that when I run I feel more vibrant. I know many people who run to bring clean water to Kenya and that can motivate the walker or runner, young and old. I have found that each marathon experience helps you alter, change or repeat what went great or was detrimental to your race.  Usually that means what I should do the week leading up to my race and what food will work best for my performance.  That isn’t in my game plan right now.  I just have to find a way to finish this thing.

Someone once told me they would take up running when they see a runner who smiles. Well that is what I do when I run. I do love the sport and it creates a high like no other. Runners greet one another along a trail and we encourage each other since we know we each run for a purpose. There’s a story behind every race. What brought you there? What motivates you? What keeps you going when everything hurts?  

My husband and I have planned to run a few international marathons and the Berlin marathon is next up. I’ve basically suffered an inflamed toe, that caused me to change my gait to resist the pain and as a result I got bursitis in the opposite knee. I rested, and got discouraged when even walking hurt. I’ve since got cortisone shots and anti inflammatories in my system that was just to get me through 14 days in Kenya and I’m happy to say I feel great! God is faithful!  I have three weeks to train at home and mentally prepare myself to just finish. I guess in hindsight, planning this trip to Kenya wasn’t the best idea due to the timing of the trip but as I’m flying home and looking at my pictures I’m feeling quite the contrary. In the last two weeks I have felt many emotions but one I have experienced before is purpose. I ran on rough, rocky, hilly and dusty roads in Kenya and although the miles were few the very act of getting up early and running alone has propelled my spirit to answer the ever popular question, why? And so I will tell you why. 

I run with the purpose to bring clean water to the Pokot region in Kenya. Why? They’re well being starts with water. I have met these beautiful people and will forever have their wonderful smiles and exuberant spirits in my heart. One day I was running a mile long road completely uphill. I stopped to walk from time to time (I will blame the crazy elevation). I was turning around to repeat my mile long trek uphill when I had to walk and noticed a lady walking in the opposite direction. As I passed her she calmly says to me, ‘pick it up’. I smiled and instantly began to run again. As I came down the hill I ran along side her and stopped. I told her I run in America to bring clean water to her fellow Kenyans. She smiled and thanked me. She told me her name was Anne. That interaction just validates why I need to complete this marathon. First of all, I told Anne I would but I also told many children I met at a few orphanages. Everywhere I turned I would see girls young and old carry water on their heads to their homes. Tears would well up in my eyes when I would pass dried up water beds and there were many. Or worse, the sight of watching children draw water for their families in dirty, contaminated waterbeds. 

Another great moment I experienced was when we pulled off to the side of the road to witness a brand new water well that was completed and celebrated just two weeks prior. We got out and spoke to the few women who were drawing water together. This well is closer to their village and providing healing to everyone who is able to use it. I pumped the water, which was not my first time, but it still gives me chills. Our leader then told me that this well went in because of the money raised from our annual 5k. My family ran this race this past June. I felt proud and humble at the same time. 

I recently heard that the limitations we feel while moving our bodies are in our heads and we can push past them.  Luckily, I also believe in the power of prayer and so when I am weak He is strong. Our running community should celebrate their ups and downs, their successes and injuries and as our race season approaches you better believe I will be repeating my new mantra  ‘pick it up!’